1. I started my summer class at the U today. Not 100% sure that was the best idea, considering I don’t have the best memory right now, but I don’t want to sit around and not do anything all summer. So my options were either more treatment or school, so I chose the better one.
2. Sometimes I think that I need to get away from tumblr, especially when I want to rip out my hair at numerous posts. But I am, like, addicted to it- it is an area in which I can compare (classy, right?) I am so disgusting for admitting it, but, hey, at least I did?
3. I am scared about my puppy.
4. If someone doesn’t make a comment on my weight, I get scared that it is not a big deal, that I don’t need help, that everything is “okay” which is fine when things are okay, but I am not sure that is the case right now. (and I don’t know if I want to be okay or not…) I am also not gifted with knowing where I am, like where I stand, so I look for external cues to help come to that conclusion.
5. I am so sunburned. I think there are blisters on my shoulders and it hurts to move.
6. I am nervous about being here alone, taking care of everything.
7. One of my oldest friends said something very hurtful to me, about how I, “go AWOL when I don’t get to do things on my own terms”. Like I said, it was hurtful, probably because it is true.
8. I hate my fat ass body.